This week has been a tough one. I am a cross country runner and I love it. Running helps me think through things and to de-stress. Lately my hip has caused me so much pain. After my first meet I could barely walk. I didn’t fall or anything. It just got worse and worse to the point I was limping. it didn’t hurt to move it around but to put pressure on it. Why am I telling you this? I took an MRI. I tore the cartilage in my hip joint. Most of the time you need surgery to fix. I can’t run anymore. Now why would any of you care? I don’t know. I think you care about what I did to get through it. To keep my faith strong.
But I’m not. I’m confused and scared and that’s okay. I know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are there for me. I know for a fact. But it doesn’t take away the pain or the saddness. It doesn’t take away my trial and that’s okay. But you know what it takes away? The lonliness.
The feeling like no one understands the pain you are in. Even the thought of the atonement gives me comfort. Christ went through everything. He RELATES! And even though I can’t hear them sometimes, I can feel their presence when I’m feeling hopeless. I think of all the things they have done for me and realize I can go through this.
But it is hard. Sometimes I can’t feel them. Sometimes I don’t want to get up and that is okay. That is the struggle where we must learn. I’m still in that process of learning how to grow and that’s okay.
I know eventually I will get to the point where I’ll be healed. I know i will be okay. eventually. My job is getting to that point. To not give up no matter how hard it is. I will fail some days and that’s okay.
Not everything in life is easy. Sometimes we will have to lean on the smallest piece of faith we have. We will be tested in this life. But the teacher is always there when we have questions. But he’s not going to just give us the answers. We will have to work for them. Struggle a bit and that’s okay.
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